SONGS A​-​Z Love Is Not as Blind as Me (2008)

by Robert LaSalle

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about

SONGS IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER

Never released, recorded in many random bedrooms, garages, basements and kitchens, “Songs” is a huge compilation of music recorded from 2004 onward. The music is an autobiography that starts out with a teenager experimenting with new songwriting techniques, production, instrumentation, progressions, melodies, time signatures and lyrical themes. Nearly everything recorded from 2004-2009 was recorded on a shitty multi-track (Korg MKII) with a shitty microphone (SM58) and mixed on-the-spot with shitty headphones (shitty headphones). That’s the producer’s disclaimer. Voilà.

credits

released December 31, 2008

All songs written, performed and produced by Robert LaSalle.

ALBUM ART BY MEGAN KELLEY

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all rights reserved
Track Name: Angel In My Bedroom
there's an angel in my bedroom she keeps me awake
her wings are the memories that won't fly away
i can’t see anything, all i can do is wait
i’ll wait for forever to see the smile on her face

why should i feel when all i feel is pain?
can’t live with the memories that I can’t escape
god weren't you listening when i said i could change
did you send me an angel and then take her away?

there’s an angel in my bedroom that I can’t even see
if love is blind, it’s not as blind as me
every corner i turn and every path that i cross
i don't need to see to know i that I’m lost

i’ll find my way up this old staircase
and dusk is a decision I’ve already made
i’ll still hold her close when she's so far away
i don’t want to wake up anymore screaming her name

there’s an angel in my bedroom, she’s just the pain in my chest
every second without her is another regret
i’ll wake up in heaven through my misery
i count the seconds til I fall asleep

i'm walking the staircase to the old pearly gates
i'm waiting for her voice at the end of my days
i want to sleep with the shadows and never wake up
i want to be ashes to ashes and dust to dust

there's an angel in my bedroom and she's carrying me away
her light casts a shadow that i can't replace
i live for the moment and the moment is gone
tonight i'll see the light of every other dawn

why should i feel when all i feel is pain?
can’t live with the memories that i can’t escape
god weren't you listening when i said i could change
did you send me an angel and then take her away?
Track Name: Anywhere But Home
no place like home, ill go, i'll go, anywhere but home

fix my lonely heart with deception
how's angst as a listener, how's life as a lesson and
it's not teaching me anything
at home where my heart is
splattered all over the floor
won't you take me anywhere but home, i'll go

change is a way to remove the scent of evil
oh, god, i'll bite my words if i can ever truly see you
there it's where i gotta be lost to find the moment
won't you show me where? take me now.
won't you show me anywhere but home

goodnight, tonight i'll sleep on the red carpet
sell my life for a pretty penny on the black market
goodnight,
please take me where my headstone reads:
"i was, but am not any longer. i'm finally home"
Track Name: Canvas
i woke beneath the morning bells
in the shadows where i painted myself
on a canvas far from home
in a place only you and i know

with picture perfect hindsight
i've painted under still light
a beautiful love
why aren't you here with me now?

there's a garden full of comely faces
and an ocean for your warm embraces
where there was love, now there is solid ground
and a frame for all your love's losts and founds

with picture perfect hindsight
i've painted under still light
a beautiful love
why aren't you here with me now?
(i see what i see and still see through, 'cause i love you)

would you tell me that i got it wrong?
would you throw my paintbrush away?
if you were to hear this song,
would you see my canvas mostly blank?

with picture perfect hindsight
i've painted under still light
a beautiful love
why aren't you here with me now?

i see what i saw and still see through,
'cause i love you
i see what i see and still see through,
'cause i love you
(oh, i still see through, 'cause i love you)
(its just a canvas without you, and i still see through)
Track Name: Damn You Girl
damn you girl
damn you girl
you left me dead
i'm gonna ride this train
gonna ride it west

i'll get off
when i'm damn well
find a little job
in a little town

i'll ride down
to the mountains high
i'll find the best damn thing
and i'll make it mine

catch me now
if you can
you can see me fly
you won't see me land

listen for a minute
you can hear the world collapse
you can see the humor
you can never seem to laugh

a few good hours
i'll really be someone
won't see me flying down the
westbound into the setting sun

damn you girl
you know me best
gonna jump this train
i'm gonna ride it west

i'm gonna stuff it all
down a cigarette
i'm gonna hop this train
i'm gonna ride it west

i dropped the bottle back
i spun it first
i threw a half full glass
into your hearse

floating on wild bulls
through canyons in a nest
i threw the half full moon
at your nice leather vest

i found a horse shoe
and i named it you
in god's country
and i knew you would want to see me, but i...

i write to appease the open wound
Track Name: Don't Be So Far Away
my baby's gone, my baby's gone,
my baby's gone
down down down to the bottom today
don't know what my baby done,
what my baby done done
'cause she's too far away
my baby don't know which way to go,
which way to go
'cause she's too far gone,
my baby don't know nothing,
she didn't have nothing
but my ring to pawn

don't be so far away
don't be so far away, girl
don't be so far away, don't be so far away

my baby's gone
my baby's gone my baby's gone
and bought herself herself a gun
my baby's not she's not a fugitive, my baby's not
she's not on the run
my baby said let's drink and be merry,
then be married
long before we know what we've done
before we know what we've done
my baby's gone,
my baby's gone gone to tell the lord
that she was just having some fun
she was just having some fun

don't be so far away
don't be so far away, girl
don't be so far away, don't be so far away
don't be so far away
don't be so far away, girl
don't be so far away, don't be so far away
Track Name: Dreaming
somewhere far away
a boy wanted to go outside and play
he was stuck indoors all day
playing all of his own games
he was dreaming he was dreaming he was dreaming
day after day
in the little place where he stayed
he hoped and dreamed
his dreams would come true someday
he was dreaming he was dreaming he was dreaming
he saw all the world
through the little cracks in the boards
all the other kids
were playing right outside his door
he was dreaming he was dreaming dreaming dreaming he was dreaming
one day the boy awoke
he'd given up hope and
to his astonishment
the door was wide open
the boy had awoken
day after day he'd dreamed of this day
the day finally came
and he walked outside to play
he tried to introduce himself
but he didn't know what to say
he'd given up on his dreams
and he didn't know how to play
the boy had awoken
where there's a will there's a way
i guess that's the name of the game
and keep dreaming
it'll be worth the wait
Track Name: Finely Lit Teal
aaa-ooo000-aaa-ooo000-aaa-ooo000
aaa-ooo-aaa-ooo-aaa-ooo
ooo000ooo
aaaAAAaaa
run awayrun awayrun awayrun awayrun awayrun awayrun away
run awayrun awayrun awayrun awayrun away
until there's nowhere else to run
ooo-e-ooo000ooo
aaa-ooo-aaa-ooo-aaa-ooo
Track Name: For Someone or Something
you come from a place like me
where twilight is still enough light to see
we're both as blind as blind can be
but we still can see
wouldn't you rather live?
wouldn't you rather die for someone or something?
why paint your own grave?
so that your life may not be in vein?
i'd rather be a hero than a saint
in my own lifetime
wouldn't you rather live?
wouldn't you rather die for someone or something?
maintain your legend or preserve your legacy?
don't you want to live?
no no lord, i'd rather die for it
isn't that what you do
when you have nothing else to lose?
wouldn't you rather live?
wouldn't you rather die for someone or something?
maintain your legend or preserve your legacy?
these aren't the questions you should be pondering
life is for reason, i truly believe
i truly believe
wouldn't you rather live?
wouldn't you rather die for someone or something?
maintain your legend or preserve your legacy?

"you and i will find it before we rest
it's the only way to rest in peace
if you die now you've died for nothing"
Track Name: Glory Enclosed
dear mustn't impose,
whether your luck is run dry or frozen
you have been chosen,
glory enclosed

dear whom proclaim to know,
whether your faith is blind or broken
you have been chosen,
glory enclosed

dear purest of all souls,
whether you're eyes have ever opened,
you have been chosen
glory enclosed

dear dejected one,
whether you did this on your own
you have been chosen
glory enclosed

dear evil self-imposed,
whether justice is just as cold
you have been chosen
glory enclosed
Track Name: Going Going Gone
she wants it now because
she cannot ever have it again
she says she needs me now
she never needed me then
she said she’d leave me, maybe
well I stayed too long
she‘ll never see me, baby
i’m going, going, gone

there was a fire in that feign-hearted blonde
she raised her whip like it was a wand
she cast a spell on my aversive heart
and she had me from the very start

i stayed so long for god only knows why
i fretted after all of her lies
she seemed content the moment that i left
as i walked out i whispered under my breath

going going gone

she wants it now because
she cannot ever have it again
she says she needs me now
she never needed me then
she said she’d leave me, maybe
well I stayed too long
she‘ll never see me, baby
i’m going, going, gone

psychology really comes into play
when I have to play these twisted games
her mind only craves what it can’t ever have
her heart only breaks when love’s denied at last

i favor never loved over loved and lost any day
she’s begging me to love her now,
now i’m not listening
i have to remind her that
she put me through a living hell
don’t have to tell her now, i have to tell myself i’m

going going gone

she wants it now because
she cannot ever have it again
she says she needs me now
she never needed me then
she said she’d leave me, maybe
well I stayed too long
she‘ll never see me, baby
i’m going, going, gone

when she had me, well she never seemed to care
she never seemed to care that much
maybe I’ll find someone and she won’t be such a mess, uh-huh

(already gone, already gone)
she wants it now because
she cannot ever have it again
she says she needs me now
she never needed me then
she said she’d leave me, maybe
well I stayed too long
she‘ll never see me, baby
i’m going, go-
Track Name: I'm Falling
lord im falling
im falling
im a grown man crawling
im falling
im falling
lord im falling
im alone im wasting
my time pacing
back and fourth in phases
hellish places
im alone im falling
lord im gone
my front, my cover
my smile is a
cardboard cutout
im an empty lover
please defend me
its so flimsy there's a demon in me
that im brawling
lord im falling
im falling
im a grown man crawling
im falling
lord im falling
im falling
lord im falling
make peace within me
dont keep me where im
burned and buried
im so wary
set me up high
im still fucked
im torn on the inside
i cant find
love before me
i cant define
myself any longer
make me stroger
burn those bridges
tear down walls
im scared im stalling
lord im falling
lord im falling
im falling
im a grown man crawling
im falling
lord i beg of youlord i beg of you
lord i beg of youlord i beg of you
Track Name: Not Afraid of the Water
not afraid of the water
not afraid of the water
it's just my reflection
stares back at me
stares back instead of forwards
i was forewarned
by everyone who's
ever done anything

don't mind getting my feet wet
i'll stay afloat and i won't let
the future i see
weigh down on me
there's water all around me
i'm not afraid of drowning
i'm afraid of regret
and never really getting wet

but i can find resolution in what i'm doing
without, without doubt
that's what i'm doing
that's what i'm doing

not afraid of the water
i'm becoming my father
find a steady job somewhere
settle down somewhere
find brand new dreams
before i fulfill them
make a life with children
live a stable life
leave my angst behind

i just figure i'll lay low
'cause it's too shallow
to dive in head first
maybe someday i'll learn
i've got my eyes wide open
and i'm just hoping
someone will hear me first
i'm just hoping something works

but i can find resolution in what i'm doing
without, without doubt
that's what i'm doing
that's what i'm doing

not afraid of the water
wasn't scared of the water
because i tip toed in
i just found a new way to swim
but nobody found me
i'm not afraid of drowning
i'm afraid of regret
and never really getting wet

not afraid of the water
i'm gonna pick up a bottle
and i'm going to sing
troubled musician's theme
it just seems so fitting
to watch the sun go down over music city
Track Name: Ocean Floor
all been done before
it's all been done before
not listening any more
i'm not listening any more
i'm drowning
you breathe easy
you can't hear me

it's all for the sake of drowning
why aren't you listening anymore?
it's all for the sake of a mystery
i will be listening from the ocean floor
(all for the sake of drowning. why don't you listen. wide on the ocean floor)

last place i want to be
last place i want to be
half way in the water
half on the beach
i've been beaten at my own game
what will i find?

never see the sunrise
never see the sunset anymore
never see anything except dead weight on the ocean floor
(sunrise. sunset. daylight's far away. real life's dead weight on the ocean floor)

there's a martyr in my bones
a ripple skipping stones
sinking slowly home
sinking slowly home

and i'm drowning
you can't see me
you breathe easy

for the sake of drowning
why aren't you listening anymore?
all for the sake of a mystery
why aren't you listening, why aren't you listening anymore?
(all for the sake of drowning. why don't you listen. wide on the ocean floor)

it's all for the sake of drowning
why aren't you listening anymore?
it's all for the sake of a mystery
i will be listening from the ocean
(all for the sake of drowning. why don't you listen. wide on the ocean floor)

from the ocean floor
what will i find if i'm not searching
if i'm not searching anymore
it's all for the sake of drowning
what will i find if i'm not searching?
if i'm not searching
Track Name: Water Under the Bridge
everything you do is a bittersweet thorn
sticks in your side from the day that you're born
guilt and acclaim are a double edged sword
a knife in my back is my knife in yours

somewhere there's a file cabinet of dirt and dust
somewhere someone knows everything you've done
you can dust off your record, you can try it again
water under the bridge is just piss in the wind

you gotta go around living with all that guilt on your chest
with that burden on your back and those lies on your breath
you gotta smile to your neighbors, and heed your own sin
water under the bridge is just piss in the
wind

no one truly forgives and forgets
for troubled waters there isn't any bridge
that's not water you're swimming in

savage beast is full of resent
with good aspirations, good will and intent
it's every man for himself when good instincts kicks in
water under the bridge is just piss in the wind

you can live a lie until your dead
you can make it all work, you can hang your head
you can't ever disguise the way you live
water under the bridge is just piss in the wind

you pile it all up until it's a quote on your grave
even then, you get to pick what you say
you can't ward off the blame with your good intent
water under the bridge is just piss in the wind

no one truly forgets and forgives
for troubled waters there isn't any bridge
that's not water you're swimming in

ask god for forgiveness, and sing him this song
you can write me a letter and tell me i'm wrong
i assure you, by god, this ain't sacrilege
water under the bridge is just piss in the wind